View from the trail head.
Crystal Lake
Blue water.
Hiking out.
Driving home.Back at the trail head after the hike, Fr. Granges gave a talk. Some of the great points I picked up on:
• Modesty does not equate with bad taste. It is possible to be both modest and dress with good taste. In fact, tasteful dress is a reflection of interior virtue. So it's only natural for girls to want to look good.
• Women are more independent today than ever, but they are also more slaves today than ever, because men view them as sex objects. As I wrote in a previous post, when women try not to be women, men lose their respect for them.
• Men, too, need to be men. If a teenage girl dresses immodestly, her father is culpable for allowing her to do so.
• Men need to embrace their responsibility towards their family. They must be leaders, but not in a tyrannical sense. Men should not think themselves superior to their wives, because they aren't, but they should still lead the family.
My take is that men need to be feudal kings and not dictators. Medieval kings were expected to consult their vassals in every important decision, though they had the right to the final word. If they didn't consult their vassals it was considered a violation of feudal law, and the vassals no longer owed allegiance to the king. Similarly, a man is the king of his home, but not an absolute monarch. While he has the final say, he must consult his wife. And while women are subject to their husbands, that does not mean bowing to his every little whim.
I've seen too many Catholic husbands and fathers exercising a tyrannical authority over their household, justifying it by saying that Catholic men are the heads of the family. But they abuse their authority. They crush their wives, trying to control their very personalities. Instead of the couple growing in grace together, as partners, the man tries to raise himself above his wife by treading on her. It is horrifying, and disgusting, to watch.
Interestingly, more often than not these men's marriages fall apart, and they even lose the faith entirely. Such a selfish approach to marriage is a recipe for disaster.
On the other hand are the vacillating men who let their kids do whatever they want because they don't have the strength or the will to exercise their authority and establish a true Catholic direction for the family. It's a delicate balance between exercising too much authority or exercising too little. Fortunately, we can always have recourse to prayer. God will help whoever asks for help. Part of being a Catholic man therefore is having enough humility to constantly ask for God's help to be the man he should be. After all, we can do nothing on our own. All that is good in us comes from God.
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